It’s like getting a dog from animal rescue versus one from a new born litter. Please don’t be offended, I’m not equating anyone with dogs; this is not to be taken literally.
Have you had the experience of buying a dog straight from the litter versus one from the pound? When you get a dog from the litter, and it’s just a couple months old, you’re starting from scratch. This dog is “Tabula rasa,” which means “blank slate,” in Latin.
However, when you get a dog from the pound, at whatever age — to mix metaphors — it’s like buying a used car, rather than a new one. This dog has got some miles and wear on it — and probably some bad habits. If so, you will need to muster up all the patience you can and work with the dog for a while.
For example, when I got my dog, Sammy, he was 8 or 9 months old. The folks at the pound said he was abused, and abandoned in a parking lot along with his mom and brother. He was terrified of men, and cowered, shivered and cried when he was alone. He chewed shoes and ripped up carpeting out of anxiety. It took a couple years to calm his fears and set him at ease.
So, when dating at mid-life, remember we all have our accumulated baggage. Typically there are fears and anxiety about a relationship with a new person.
What’s the solution? For starters: An authentic rapport, open-mindedness, and a willingness to compromise. These dynamics can help you form a warm and understanding connection. This creates an environment where it’s safe to be yourself, and okay to make mistakes. As you continue to date, reach out to your partner with tolerance and acceptance as you enjoy your new romance.
Dear Readers – If you enjoy my point of view, please check out my just released book, The Wilde Woman’s Guide to Organizing in Five Simple Steps: Using Mindfulness to Change Your Habits. Thanks!!