As you create your goals and move forward in the new year, are you organizing your thoughts and words to approach people and life with compassion or judgment? Courage or fear? Awareness or denial? Proactive or reactive? Dealing with “stuff” or ignoring it?
Here’s an example: People in my age range — mid-life — seem to either embrace technology or approach it with fear (and/or disdain). Their response tends to be the way they approach other things in life (i.e., “That’s awesome!” versus “That’s horrible!”). Embrace or reject. It’s a mind-set.
So, without judgment or criticism — just observation (“notice and adjust” as I say) — here are a few things to consider when organizing your internal environment this year:
Are you organizing your days to give yourself time to get in touch with your thoughts and feelings? Honest with yourself about them? Aware when you’re thinking and speaking in a negative way?
It takes an internal level of organizing to be in touch with yourself, moderate what you think and feel, and communicate in a supportive way. If you aren’t organizing your internal environment in a positive way, it’s likely that when other people express their thoughts and feelings it’ll be uncomfortable for you. You may respond by denying, minimizing or discounting what they’re going through – rather than responding with understanding, compassion and empathy.
If you’re not doing it for yourself, it’s very hard to do it for others. There are a couple of 12 Step phrases that come to mind, “If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.” and “You cannot transmit what you haven’t got.”
For example, if someone is experiencing grief, and you haven’t yet dealt with your own, you may wish they’d “stuff” theirs, because it’s too painful to experience…
It’s hard to create goals and follow through with changing your life in significant ways if you’re not approaching life with awareness and honesty. The keys to this internal organizing process are just that: awareness and honesty.